argh.

i miss a ton of people (a few in particular) and it sucks because i feel like i'm the only one making an effort. or even the only one that cares.

my heart is a little broken.

ATTN! PARTY ON THE 13TH!!!!

WE ARE HAVING A PARTY AND YOU ARE INVITED (MAYBE?!)


IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME
CONTACT ME VIA MYSPACE OR PHONE
(909) 331-0956!!!!!

IT IS NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS THEMED
(SO DRESS UP AS A CHARACTER FROM THE MOVIE
OR HALLOWEEN OR CHRISTMAS-LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

yayyyyY!


LOVELOVELOVE<333333333

realization.

i can't fake being happy. i realized that in the car, just now. i'm too emotional of a person, and i am not afraid of that. therefore, i cannot, will not hide my emotions. i can't put on a mask and pretend everything is okay. inside, i am not okay. and there might not be a reason. but i can't hide it. i'm not one of those people. my emotions are too strong and vivid to just replace or ignore them.

i wish i knew what was wrong. i haven't felt like this since i graduated high school. only then i had a reason. maybe my reason is being lonely. i'm extremely independent now. maybe too independent. to the point where i KNOW i can make someone happy. and be happy. and yet, still be my own person and do my own thing. but i have yet to find someone i can share that with. so, this future love is already breaking my heart!

i don't know if i am making any sense!!!!!! but i don't care! i don't! writing feels good. and it numbs the pain. especially when i write publicly. even if no one responds to this, hell, even if not one soul reads this, it makes me feel better to think that maybe someone out there is listening to me. and i'd rather it be a stranger than someone i know (minus a few people that know who they are) because i know a stranger cannot judge me. and has no idea what i've been through and no idea what my life is about besides this pointless blog and this pathetic entry. but maybe they can somehow relate in an unbiast way.

i'm going to sit on the roof and scream periodically until i feel like i've accomplished something.

i'm not editing this at all, so i'm sorry if this is hard to understand.

rant

-i really wish my brother wouldn't fake being sick and make my mom worry!
-i hate my love handles and i'm handling that shit pronto. as in it's already in the works.

i thought i had more to rant about, and i'm sure i do, but i'm being positive, remember!? yay!

i finished eclipse and it was amazing! i hear breaking dawn is the best, we will see. after i finish this one, i'm going back to re-reading harry potter. the trailer got me pumped! then after that, i have no game plan! recommendations anyone? okay! i have to peeeeeee. have a lovely night.

movin' on up.

i don't want to feel the way i've been feeling! so today i had myself a good day, and it felt lovely! hannah and i worked out around the pool and then met her mom and brothers for a movie and dinner/lunch. it was nice.


and then i went to my parents house to watch the britney spears documentary with my mom. it was very very good. i love britney i don't even careeeeeeeeeeeeee!



dayum. definitely motivated to get fit for the cruise!



okayyyy byeeee.

well

there was once you,
you said you hate my suffering.
and you understood
and you'd take care of me.
you'd always be there.

WELL WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

contentment.

this weekend was quite lovely! friday i had a date that was aweful, but i'm over it now. saturday i worked all day (and hated every minute), then i went out to see my sister with my step dad. she's doing well! and when she's all doped up, she can walk with a cane! such excellent progress. it makes me happy! and my nephew is the cutest thing ever. just sayin'. when i got back to riverside, dani (another assistant i work with) and i went and saw twilight again! it was better the second time around! i just love the dinner and bedroom scene! [sidenote: twilight made over 70 million this weekend and they are beginning production on new moon, which i just finished. sooooo good. i cried yeahyeah.]

yesterday brie and i were feeling trapped and a little down so we decided to take the metro to L.A. it was soooo nice! first, we got off the subway on beverly/vermont, to look for buffalo exchange. well, we were unsuccessful. i guess being cautious and pretty much scared shitless won over our love for a store filled with vintage. oh well, one day soon. (and when i actually have money!). so we got off on hollywood and vine next and just walked around. we went into tons of random stores. it was really fun. we got cute little bracelets with bells and different beads on them. we ate at baja fresh... which was really delicious! i had never been. anywho, it was tons of fun and nice to get away from the inland empire, not to mention a nice adventure with my best friend.

today has been a lazy day, but mondays always are. i finished new moon this morning and immediate ran to target to get eclipse. luckily i got the last copy and i've been home reading ever since. in a while i am going to pick up my mom from work, hopefully we can have a good mother daughter visit.

some pictures for your entertainment:

twilight (midnight showing) in line.


haah this picture cracks me up! happy vampire :)


brie, chels, me. team edward goooo!


my bff waited since 4pm! love herrr.


pat and ali! lovers.


aweee *barf* aweee


reading


on the


train!


subway waiting game.


trying on wigs at iguana!


alright, back to my reading! have a lovely night everyone.

L.A. with my best friend.

we're leaving now.
pictures later :)

from this day forth

no boy will ever compare to edward cullen. i'm in love.
in love with a fictional, non-existent character!
i'm ridiculous!!!!!


who caressssssssssssssss!
i'm going insane.

capital H E L P!

We got cable today! My only problem is, I don't know what to watch. Besides, the obvious, Degrassi, I can't seem to be even remotely interested. Though, I really would like to get some use out of my extra $10 a month. Give me your suggestions, please.

I finished Twilight last night. I cried. It was beautiful. I get the chills just thinking about it. I really can't wait til Thursday night! Ahhhhhh!!!! I started New Moon, and it's already breaking my heart, but that doesn't mean it's not going to be just as captivating. Hannah just helped me hang my Edward poster. Here, I'll show you:


Right above my bed. Inbetween my Harry Potter calendar and Bright Ezzzzzzzle poster (my other outrageous obsessions).

I did like 6 loads of laudry today! WHAT!?! CRAZY.

I've decided to start taking more pictures. I want to get a lot of disposable cameras and constantly be snapping great memories. Not to mention, break my habit of leaving the film to rot under my bed or something. I've still yet to develop prom and graduation. HAHA.

Anyways, I'm going to get back to my reading. Have a lovely night, lovely folk.

it's true

I've formed another one of my unhealthy obsessions.



UGH! Is this a trait of libra's?! Or can I just be easily influenced and brainwashed? Once I get into something (such as books, movies, drinks and such) I become completely infatuated. I'm not sure if I like this trait I've come to realize I have. I don't know what else to say.

I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN.

Bonjour!

To be honest, I completely neglected my other blog, and now I'm sad to say, I don't even remember my user name let alone the password. So here we are, fresh new blog. First entry. And I have not a clue what to write about. No wonder I let the other rot in cyberspace.

Here's my attempt at composing something of substance to my very few readers.

I've given in and began reading the Twilight series. I've read well over 150 pages since yesterday evening, and I'll be sincere and tell you I really can't put it down. When I do seem to tear myself away from it, I think about it. All day at work today, I was so excited to go on lunch and read again. So, even though I haven't finished the first of four books, I reccommend them to anyone who likes fantasy and/or romance. Stephenie Meyer (the author) is very descriptive, and I tend to like that. Brie already bought us our tickets for the midnight showing for the film coming out. Hopefully it's as mindblowing as the book has been.

Hmm... Some other great news is that I will more than likely be going to Amsterdam with my boss next September. I've heard that it's either a.) beautiful and really different and cool, or b.) terrible, dirty, and hookers are constantly walking down the street. Oh and apparently you can buy shrooms for really cheap (not that I'm even remotely interested). Master Jam (a big Aveda hair show) is going to be there next year. So I'll either be going to work and assist her and her friends, or I'll just go for the show and enjoy myself. Either way, I told her I would love to go.

Friday Gerard Scarpaci tought us a class at the salon. It was so amazing! I did a haircut on my mom, and it looks fantastic. He is an amazing teacher. I felt like I completely understood his way of teaching. He definitely thinks outside the box, and it is most certainly to his advantage.

I'm really hoping to start school at RCC next semester, but I'm not sure that is going to happen on account of I'm broke! Christmas is coming too, meaning I will be even more broke. Why must money mean everything!? I can't stand that!

Anyways, I guess I had more to write about than I thought. I'm going to get back to my reading. Goodnight baby loves. Have beautiful dreams.